A girl phoned me and said, ‘Come on over. There’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home!A hooker once told me she had a headache.I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, ‘Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?’ She said, ‘No, I hate myself now.’My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home early.’My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.My wife is such a bad cook. In my house we pray after the meal.My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from a hotel.It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning and put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off.. Beside that, I have grown very fond of you!’ Mary was quietly crying. ‘Did I say something wrong, Mary?’ ‘No, no, no, …. it’s just that you have just answered a prayer I’ve had for the last three days. You are a breath of fresh air to me. I had developed a rather low opinion of people, men in particular. But here, you treat me as a lady even though you know what I have done in the past. You seem to ignore my scars. All I can say is thank you, staying here would be a great gift to me.’ ‘You’re welcome. Now, I want to suggest something. I have a very good doctor. She’s very thorough and likable. I also have a good dentist. I would like to make appointments, with both or them, for you. Whatever is needed I will have it covered at no expense to you. I’ll go make the appointments, if you don’t object.’ ************************ A year has now passed. It has been a good year for both Mary and George. Mary attended and then joined George’s church. She began to see how very special George.
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